The way you looked into my eyes and held me close, and how you just so sincerely and lovingly tell me that I’m beautiful. That feeling. Even I was stunned by it. :) no one ever made me feel that way before :)
:/ feel so demoralised. every time people/ classmates come by my area of where I’m working on my one by one meter painting (together w my other classmates), they just praise and compliment my nearby classmates’ painting and drawing. and when they pass mine, nobody says a word… either that or they just say, “wow, you finishing already?”, or “cool….”.
every single person around me paints so damn nicely and with so much skill. and here I am. Nothing close to good. :/ People think that my painting is easy cos it’s drawn in basic shapes with basic colours. But what people didn’t think is that I took 4.5 hours just to get the proportion right for the UK flag (I didn’t use the projector) and what people don’t see is that my board is the most “textured” and bumpy in the entire class. So I really had a very very very hard time painting the colours to make them solid and not patchy. Sigh. I chose Pop Art style for my this final assignment (besides, IT is my style of designing as well). But people don’t seem to “appreciate” it or find it of any worth cos of it’s little detail. Oh well. So demoralised. :( I have to live w every single person’s, that walks by my area, compliments and praises for the classmates sitting next to me, every day. Ughhhh… I just want this whole block to end now. I don’t want this shit.
Sometimes I can’t help but think, does it even make a difference if You go church at all? Cos You don’t even look or act like one that goes every Sunday or more. The way you treat me and the whole family is just complete shit. Stop calling me things and names that I’m not even doing or am at all. You’re basically forcing me to become the person You are saying that I “am”. All you care about is how you feel that you very poor thing etc etc. how about what you’ve done to make other people miserable? I don’t hate you at all. Im just giving a shit about how you see me. But giving a shit is wrong cos you think that by me doing that I m hating you. You say I selfish and compare me w my brother. What kind of person are you? Have I not shared as much as him? Have I not been as generous as him? Why are you so bias!!